You know you are from Kerry when…..

March 26th, 2008

1. You say “the Gaeltacht” and expect everyone to know which one.
2. The only reason you would play soccer or rugby was because you were useless at football.
3. You know that Carrantouhill is not only the highest mountain in Ireland, but is the highest mountain in Kerry.
4. Sheep and goats on the main road to Dingle are invisible.
5. You go to Mass every Sunday. The only prayer you know is the”Ar nAthair”, but you get all the news from last night in town from the boys at the back.
6. You always give Americans the wrong directions for Ballybunion.
7. You tell your friends from up the country that you know Maurice and the Gooch well.
8. Your back door is never locked and the key is under the bin anyway if it is.
9. You consider eye contact a guaranteed score with a someone
10. You call your local GAA pitch “the field above”.
11. You hate Cork!!!
12. You think Tralee is “gone mad with the houses lately”….
14. The site out in the field is yours once you are ready to settle down.Roughly at the age of thirty five. If you’re lucky.
16. You went on holidays to Trabolgan or Mosney when you were younger.
17. You laugh at the fools with their fancy haircuts and fashion from up the country. Throw on the chequered shirt,roll up the sleeves,tuck it into the Levi’s 501, and slip on the “going out” boots.
18.Mom will have the dinner ready by the time you get home.” Ahno,its Friday…..fish…jesus..”
19. You were only ever up the North for an underage football blitz or on a school-tour.
20. You’re suspicious of people from the North.
21. You think Charlie Haughey was a legend.
22. You heard the new Tesco in Tralee was even bigger than the one in Killarney.
23. You dont care if Fungi dies.
24. You don’t hear sirens.
25. You have never actually climbed Carrantouhill.
26. You’re waiting for the final.
27. You only go to Dublin for the All-Ireland final weekend.You go to Coppers after Flannerys on the Saturday night.You have to meet a fella for
a ticket Sunday morning outside the Gresham.
28. The owner of your local pub is a selector on your club team.His son-in-law trains the team and is a full-time football coach.The coach’s
brother is a carpenter who employs 5 of yourteam-mates. The carpenter’s wife is a sister of the ex-Kerry Rose.Her husband is the hairdresser’s
brother.The hairdresser’s husband is the third selector on your club team. The selector also does the rubs in the dressing-room before the game.There are 5 brothers on the team.
29. Your cousin who left for Australia 12 months ago is now employing 3 other carpenters and has his own van and tools. He’s loaded and is never
gonna come home. He went to the beach on Christmas Day.
30. You think that the fellas who dont play football are gay

Entry Filed under: Funny, Ireland